Remember that ex who just refused to leave you alone, even after you’d made it clear that you didn’t want to talk to them at all? We all have had at least one such experience.
For this article, I have compiled four super-crazy ways to deal with the overly attached ex that will make sure that they never bother you again!
#1. For the ex who still keeps texting
So your ex keeps leaving texts messages on your phone and Facebook inbox? You turn on your phone after a meeting to find 19 missed calls them? Even though you’ve explicitly told them again and again not to call or text, they just don’t seem to listen. They just don’t seem to care about the fact that you don’t want to hear from them!
Next time they do it, start talking to them. Get a proper conversation going, and then, when you see them typing, hit block. The burn doesn’t get sicker, trust me. After you’ve blocked them on your phone, remember to block them on social media too! (And no, no stalking them. BLOCK THEM!!!!)
#2. For the creepy ex who somehow turns up to wherever you are
Oh my God, the creepy stalker. No matter where you go, they’re there. The bar you used to visit, the park where you take your morning walk, the local tea-shop, everywhere!! This ex knows all the places you loved to visit, and places themselves at the place punctually so that they will run into you. They seem to take some sort of weird pleasure by deliberately crossing your path and don’t care about the inconvenience they’re causing you.
Well, to deal with someone as crazy as this, you have to take even crazier steps, naturally. Next time you run into them, and they try talking to you, pretend you don’t know them. Ask them their names, and pretend to be genuinely interested in who they are, and keep up the charade. If that doesn’t creep them out and scare them away, nothing will! Except maybe, a restriction order.
#3. For the ex who believes that you still actually love them a lot!
“Honey, I know you still love me, I’m sure we can work out our issues.” If this is what your ex has been saying, you need to make it clear to the poor sod that it really is over. Sweetly.
Bake them a passive aggressive cake! Bake them a nice little cake (or buy one, if you are culinary-ly handicapped like me) and write the message on the cake: I thought long and hard about what you said, and realised that I love you as much as a love bean sprouts (you can of course, substitute bean sprouts with anything that you absolutely hate). What a lovely, bittersweet way to get the message across, no?
Make sure you use the name of something that your ex knows you hate. Otherwise, you’ll have wasted a perfectly lovely cake on a creepy, stupid ex-lover.
#4. For the ex who can’t live without you
Is your overly attached ex crooning about how they can’t live without you? No matter how sensibly you try to tell them that time will heal, this sort of ex will keep trying to get your sympathy by saying they can’t live without you.
Dealing with this ex can get a bit tricky, as they tend to be the overly-sensitive type. To make sure they understand that everything really is over, and there’s no use crying about it, you’ll have to do something absolutely outrageous.
Mock up a complimentary list of why being single is great! Neat, Simple, and funny. Alternately, you could also provide a thorough and completely unnecessary list of reasons why you dumped them in the first place. A bruised ego and the already-broken heart should keep your ex out of your life!